Safeguard-Me Blog 2026

Addressing Child-on-Child Abuse in Schools and Activity Settings

2025-12-08 16:23
Child-on-child abuse is one of the most challenging safeguarding issues organisations face. It's uncomfortable, complex, and often minimised as "just kids being kids." But the impact on victims can be devastating, and organisations have clear responsibilities to prevent, recognise, and respond appropriately.

Understanding Child-on-Child Abuse

What does it Include?

Child-on-child abuse encompasses:

Sexual harassment and violence centres around consent:
  • Unwanted sexual comments or jokes can be offensive and disguised as 'banter'
  • Physical touching without consent may seem obvious but physical contact is a regular occurrence with children so spotting when it's not wanted or is inappropriate isn't easy
  • Sexual assault and rape are more explicit but victims often don't come forward so other behaviour changes might be a clue that something isn't right.
  • Sharing of nudes or even semi-nudes and this could be of themselves but of someone else and not something children should be exposed to.
  • Online sexual harassment in general and coercion of any kind
Bullying:
  • Physical violence is assumed to be the most common but actually isn't.
  • Verbal abuse and name-calling are far more comment issues with peer to peer bullying
  • Social exclusion and manipulation can be equally as impactful and isolating for children.
  • Cyberbullying across platforms can be the unseen form of bullying. Teach children to block people on their devices
  • Prejudice-based bullying (racism, homophobia, ableism)
Hazing and initiation:
  • Particularly common in sports settings and can even initiated by coaches under the guise of it being team building or 'tradition'
  • Forced participation in humiliating activities to build character and driven by senior members
  • Coercion and peer pressure often plays a key part but whilst team building is important there's a line and adults have a responsibility to ensure its not crossed
  • There can be a reluctance to report anything due to team loyalty and this can even be used as a method to assure silence.
Peer-on-peer exploitation:
  • County lines involvement and other gang-related activity
  • Coercion into wider criminal behaviour through association from older kids they see as 'role models'
  • Relationship-based exploitation building their trust and guilting them into activity

Why does it happen?

Contributing factors include:
  • Normalisation of harmful behaviour is common if they consistently experience it in their environment
  • Lack of understanding about consent as they believe they can trust older children particularly
  • Power imbalances between children, perceived 'authority' or just wanting to fit in
  • Exposure to inappropriate content online either through their own natural inquisitiveness or shared with them
  • Peer pressure and group dynamics of wanting to be part of the cool group and fit in
  • Inadequate supervision or intervention will enable all of the above
  • Cultural attitudes that minimise the seriousness of behaviours and particularly the potential long term impact
This isn't rare — sorry to tell you but it's happening in your setting.

The Impact on Victims

Consequences include:
  • Anxiety, depression, and PTSD
  • Self-harm and suicidal ideation
  • Educational disengagement and absence
  • Difficulty trusting anyone, adults or peers
  • Long-term relationship difficulties
Early, appropriate intervention is critical. Even a small gesture or suggestion can help avoid long term impacts.

Preventing Child-on-Child Abuse

Creating a Culture of Respect

Prevention starts with culture:
Relationships and sex education:
  • Age-appropriate teaching about consent, what it means and how to be in control
  • Healthy relationships education and what respect is
  • Understanding boundaries with themselves and others
  • Challenging harmful attitudes and opinions that could lead to issues
  • Online safety and digital control - blocking people is ok
Behaviour expectations:
  • Setting clear standards for respectful behaviour to display and receive
  • Consistent consequences for harmful actions
  • Zero tolerance for sexual harassment, physical, mental, emotional or digital
  • Challenge "banter" that crosses lines and giving people the option to say no.
Empowering children:
  • Teach children their rights
  • Create safe channels for them to express any concerns
  • Encourage bystander intervention to help those who are unable to help themselves
  • Validate concerns when raised so they feel comfortable to continue to look for help
  • Ensure children know adults will act and not just ignore the issue

Supervision and Environment

Physical environment matters:
  • Adequate and appropriate supervision in changing rooms where children can feel most vulnerable
  • Well-monitored communal spaces and toilets with visible staff presence
  • CCTV in appropriate areas (not changing rooms)
  • Secure boundaries preventing unauthorised access
Digital environment:
  • Appropriate filtering, adult content controls and monitoring
  • Education about online behaviour
  • Clear acceptable use policies with consequences for not adhering to them
  • Swift response to online incidents
  • Collaboration with parents on device use as transparency is crucial

Addressing Harmful Sexual Behaviour

Age-appropriate responses:
Under 5s: Developmentally normal exploration vs. concerning behaviour
5-9 years: Teaching boundaries and consent
10-12 years: Understanding puberty, relationships, and respect
13-17 years: Consent, healthy relationships, legal responsibilities and consequences
All staff must understand developmental norms and when behaviour becomes concerning.

Recognising Child-on-Child Abuse

Warning Signs in Victims

Behavioural changes:
  • Withdrawal from activities or friendships including reluctance to attend school or activities
  • Avoidance of specific individuals or locations
  • Changes in eating or sleeping patterns or increased anxiety or fearfulness
Physical indicators:
  • Unexplained injuries or torn, damaged clothing
  • Possessions going missing
  • Physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches)
Emotional signs:
  • Low self-esteem and confidence which can then lead to self-harm or suicidal thoughts
  • Anger or aggression - which might not be easy to spot, especially given puberty but look for dramatic changes in aggression.
  • Sexualised language or behaviour becoming the norm and not just exploratory

Warning Signs in Perpetrators

Concerning behaviours:
  • Aggressive or controlling behaviour, bending peoples will to their own
  • Lack of empathy for others and their struggles
  • Sexualised language, suggestiveness or actions often hidden behind - 'It was a joke'
  • Accessing inappropriate content
  • Coercive or manipulative relationships, grooming, gaslighting, coercing
  • Normalising harmful behaviour
Remember: Children who harm others often have safeguarding needs themselves. Their environment normalises the behaviour

Responding to Disclosures and Concerns

Immediate Response

When a child discloses abuse:
Do:
  • Listen without judgement
  • Believe what they're telling you
  • Reassure them it's not their fault
  • Explain you need to share with the DSL
  • Record exactly what was said, including dates, times people and places.
  • Report immediately to the DSL
Don't:
  • Promise confidentiality
  • Ask leading questions
  • Investigate yourself
  • Confront the alleged perpetrator
  • Minimise or dismiss concerns
  • Delay reporting

DSL Actions

The DSL must:
  1. Assess immediate risk: Are children safe right now?
  2. Gather information: What exactly happened, when, where, witnesses?
  3. Consider thresholds: Does this meet criteria for external referral?
  4. Protect the victim: What support and safety measures are needed?
  5. Address the perpetrator: What intervention is appropriate?
  6. Inform parents: When and how to involve families?
  7. Document thoroughly: Detailed records of all actions

Working with External Agencies

When to involve police and social services:
  • Sexual assault or serious sexual harassment
  • Physical violence causing injury
  • Sharing of indecent images
  • Gang-related activity or exploitation
  • Any criminal offence
  • Serious safeguarding concerns about either child
Multi-agency working ensures appropriate intervention for both victim and perpetrator.

Supporting Victims Appropriately

Immediate Support

Victims need Belief, validation and emotional support. Safety planning with a choice and control in next steps. Information about what will happen and ongoing check-ins

Longer-Term Support

Consider counselling or therapeutic support or a trusted adult for regular check-ins. You might need specialist services and academic support of their education has been impacted. Also consider an adjustment to their routine or environment with peer support or mentoring.

Addressing Perpetrator Behaviour

Balancing Accountability and Support

Children who harm others need:
Accountability:
Understanding their behaviour was wrong with the appropriate consequences. Recognition of harm caused and what the expected behaviour is.
Support:
Understanding why the behaviour occurred with an assessment of their own safeguarding needs. The next step is intervention to prevent recurrence and potentially therapeutic support if needed.
Both can and must coexist.

Creating Safe Reporting Channels

Why Children Don't Report

Barriers include:
  • Fear of not being believed
  • Worry about making things worse
  • Shame or embarrassment
  • Loyalty to peers
  • Concern about consequences
  • Previous negative experiences reporting

Effective Reporting Systems

Create multiple channels:
  • Trusted adults children can approach
  • Anonymous reporting options (online forms, worry boxes)
  • Peer mentoring or prefect systems
  • External helplines (Childline, NSPCC)
  • Clear, visible information about how to report
Regularly ask children if they know how to report concerns.

A Final Thought - Challenge Minimisation

Address attitudes that dismiss concerns:
  • "Boys will be boys"
  • "It's just banter"
  • "They're just playing"
  • "Kids sort these things out themselves"
These attitudes enable abuse to continue.

Conclusion

Child-on-child abuse is not acceptable but sometimes can be a fine line between what's ok and what's not. Organisations must create cultures where respect is expected, harmful behaviour is challenged, children feel safe to report, and responses protect victims whilst addressing perpetrator behaviour.
Prevention, recognition, and appropriate response require whole-organisation commitment, staff training, clear policies, and genuine prioritisation of children's safety from all forms of harm—including harm from their peers.
Strengthen your safeguarding culture. Safeguard-Me's training resources and consultancy help organisations effectively address child-on-child abuse.